Vote Meir for Mayor: This job has my name on it.

Meir (pronounced MAYOR) Straus has had the job ever since his birth. Now 18 years, 1 month, and a few days later, Meir is ready to ascend to his rightful- announce his candidacy for mayor of Toronto. A former Rhino Party Prime Minister (of high school Politics Club), Meir has the vision that Toronto needs. After a double life of crime-fighting by night and saving child orphan sharks from being exploited in underwater shark-trafficking sweatshops by day, Meir looked upon his home city of Toronto -- a city in need of a leader that can rule with an iron fist -- I mean, with wisdom and guidance, and decided that he would be the perfect candidate. Despite what some may claim, Meir is definitely a real man and NOT three raccoons in a trench coat. As mayor, Meir aims to address issues such as housing, transportation, elections, city infrastructure, inflation, diversity, roads, hospitals, safety, crime, garbage, raccoons, weed-smell, roundabouts, organ-shortages, Canada geese, God, labour, street preachers, hipsters, uncomfortable benches, parkettes, speed bumps, and the inappropriate use of the word "muck."